I am in the thick of launching my two oldest kids into adulthood. I very intentionally raised my kids to be independent and fostered in them a love of exploring the world around them. This was one of my primary goals as a mother…to raise independent adults who had a love for the world. Fast forward 18 years. Turns out when you do this, they eventually leave the nest. Sometimes they fly far far way…like all the way to Arizona from Iowa. I wasn’t prepared for how that would feel!
In the thick of covid, I moved my oldest to Scottsdale, Arizona. Over the course of the next two years, my two daughters and I took at least 6 separate trips there to visit. We filled our time with exploring the landscape and taking adventures. We’ve hiked and ATV’d and floated down the Salt River. I met girlfriends at we got tattoos. We went to professional sporting events and ate at incredible restaurants. We shopped and walked and laughed and cried. Then 2 years later, I did it again with my second child. One week after her high school graduation she hopped in a packed car and traveled the same roads my oldest did to settle in to her new home.
It has been 4 years now. Two children are still living in the Valley of the Sun. So many parents tell me “I couldn’t do it. Our family is too close.” To that I say, “SO ARE WE!” Technology has afforded us the luxury of staying connected nearly every day. We FaceTime and text and call and Marco Polo. Instead of driving a couple hours to take my college student to lunch, I send a Venmo with a cute note and tell them to go grab coffee or dinner.
When we do get time together it is QUALITY. We pack it full with all the love and laughter (and still sometimes fighting) we can muster. We know it’s limited so we make sure we soak it up. We still share our struggles and I have actually hopped on a plane in a moment’s notice when I knew one of them was really struggling. We thank our lucky stars for the non-stop, 0% bougie, cheap 2 1/2 hour flights via Allegiant. We experience new things together and we love each other well.
Sometimes I am sad. Sometimes I miss them so much it physically hurts. All the time I am bursting with pride for them and the lives they are creating out there on their own. So all you mamas out there launching your babies into the world, I see you. Trust me when I tell you that you don’t have to see your big kids weekly (or even monthly) to let them know you care. You will figure out sweet ways to show your love and support and they will learn so much. You and your kids can be happy living at home together after high school AND you can also be happy living 1300 miles apart as long as you make the most of it and do it with intention. As we approach graduation season, don’t forget that. We can do hard things!
expectantvoyager@gmail.com